A Preview of my Story

12:55 PM

Hey everyone!
I did a poll asking if you wanted to see some previews of my stories and you said yes so that means you get to see some previews.
The first preview is from my story called, "Outlaw". I am writing it for my brothers who said they wanted me to write a story for them to read.

Here is a picture my sister Korin drew from my book^

Samuel is a twelve year old boy living in the 1800s who's parents died from influenza. His brother joins a gang of outlaws shortly after and Samuel feels proud when the men finally start looking at him as a young man.  When Samuel accidentally shoots a young man while robbing one of the banks he feels that life isn't worth it knowing he may have killed a man.
When he meets a Mexican man and his grandson he learns God has a purpose for his life.

                                                 "Outlaw" preview 

                Samuel pressed his back against the bank’s outside wall and fingered the gun in the holster at his hip; his eyes darted across the street where his brother Zach set casually in a chair by the saloon. His chin was tucked down on his chest, his Stetson pulled low over his eyes but Samuel knew his brother was alert and waiting for Troy’s signal. There was never a moment that went by that Zach was not keen and alert with his surroundings.
                His heart started thumping loudly as Samuel watched Troy walk out of the saloon and give his signal to Samuel; a nod of the chin to Zach.               
                “Don’t fool around boy,” Troy had told Samuel before the gang had separated in Houston, “We are counting you ya now, ya hear?” Samuel had nodded and proudly puffed out his chest as Troy handed him a gun holster and pistol.  Zach had taught him to shoot when Samuel was only six years old and he had been a quick learner.
                Now as Samuel crept out the shadows and into the bright afternoon sun he still felt proud, that Troy has actually recognized him has a responsible twelve year old and not some kid.  
                As casually as he could without appearing suspicious, Samuel opened the heavy white door of the Bank and walked inside. His footsteps seemed in echo on the wooden floor boards and Samuel tried to keep his wits about him but inside he was as jumpy as a jack rabbit.
                A banker with a receding hairline and thin wire glasses looked up at the sound of the door opening; he closed the ledger he had been writing in and smiled, “Hello young man. What can I do for you today?” Samuel shrugged casually and glanced over his shoulder and out the window to see Troy crossing the street and coming towards the bank.
                His heart thumped loudly in his ears as he walked closer to the man and in one fluid motion pulled out the pistol and held it up, “Keep your hands up and stay right were ya are.” His voice sounded shaky even to his own ears but he tried to keep it gruff like he’d heard Zach do the dozen other times they’d robbed banks.  
                The man didn’t appeared ruffled though and smiled warmly as if Samuel was just playing a game, “Now you are jest playing around aren’t ya boy? Ya aren’t really robbing me are you?”
                Samuel almost felt sorry for the man but motioned with his gun over to the wall, “Get over their or ya’ll be wishing you had.”  

So what do you think? I would love your feedback! 

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6 of your thoughts

  1. Hey Kara! This is Haley. Your story was really cool!!! I want to know the ending now! :) Your sister's picture was really good, too. I could vividly picture that guy walking into the bank. So......you should post a second chapter or something. :)

    Great job!


  2. Hey Haley!
    Thanks so much! I just may do that. :)

  3. Sounds soooo good so far! I can't wait to read more! :)

  4. wow! your a good writer! cant' wait to see what happens next!

    --Rachel S


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