My Testimony {Of Sorts}

9:42 AM

Hola everyone! So yeah... I've never shared my testimony. I don't know why - maybe because I don't really think it's that amazing or  people won't want to read, or I'm too scared of what people may think. I decided though, that since I've never shared it with anyone, then it's time to share it on the place I share pretty much share everything that I dwell on - here.

When I was about seven I accepted Jesus in my heart, mainly having no idea why but to except escape hell, because I was really scared (I didn't want to burn forever and ever ). My parents are amazing Christians and my Dad had (and has) family devotions with us every evening and I grew up my whole life in church. 
 When my family moved for my Dad to plant a church about two hours away, I was excited. I was reading my Bible everyday and praying, but still really not getting why I was doing it (I was still only seven or eight). 
By the time I was ten I found God confusing because I knew being a Christian meant following Him, but I didn't know how. 
I had questions like - "How can God speak to me?", "and who is Jesus, really?" I didn't ask my parents because I didn't like talking to them about that sort of thing. I would often pray and get frustrated when God didn't seem to be listening. Sometimes I would sit and cry because God seemed so far away and I was just sitting there not knowing how to reach Him. 
I also began to miss the church back where we use to live and would often vow to myself that I would never, ever, go to church again when I got older because it was boring and didn't seem to have any meaning. I really had no friends and I was inwardly mad at my Dad for starting a church (we then had only about ten or so people going, with children consisting of only toddlers). 
I felt empty and decided God shouldn't have made me a girl, so the summer I was nine or ten started dressing as best I could as a boy. I found that empty and no fun, and that fall or winter decided it was best "to go back" and be a girl. I was an on and off kind of person, my moods changing quickly. I didn't tell my parents anything about how I was feeling and that was my mistake. I would get really angry at God and then cry, talking to God in a way, asking why I was actually here on this earth. I did poorly at math and would convince my self I was worthless and shouldn't live. 
I continued feeling that way as I grew into an eleven year old, but slowly as I continued to read my Bible and then join a online Bible study group for kids. I didn't realize it at the time, but God was slowly molding me. I began to see that I was here for a reason, that I wasn't just a kid with no way to get to God - I simply had to run to Him. 
I went to a Christian Camp in North Carolina with my Aunt and Uncle that year and learned even more about my Father. I began to also see my value as a girl, and that God had created me for a very special reason. 
I began to pray more often, openly asking God questions, though I was still confused how He answered. When I was twelve I still dealt with a lot and sometimes still doubted my worth. Sometimes I felt lonely and would slip back into feeling worthless, but still I felt something - God tugging at my heart. 
One day when I was thirteen, I heard a song on the radio and literally felt God telling me, "You're here for a purpose." It wasn't out loud but it was when I really started feeling God speaking to me. I also began to love church and help out in the Nursery - finding that church is a way to connect with fellow Christians and is one of the best ways to find encouragement. 
I continued to be part of the online Bible Study and met an incredible online friend in real life two years ago, even making more online friends throughout this past year (they are really amazing!). 
Psalm 73:23-25 became some verses I looked to often and I grew to love the Bible as a guide written by God - not just as a book of rules.
Recently I have felt God calling me to be a writer, friend to others, and sharer of His love. I still struggle with my worth, but I know He's there no matter what and is my Best Friend and loving heavenly father. He isn't just an escape from hell, but the amazing Creator of the universe. 
We're all here for a purpose and God has a plan for each of our lives. I'm mainly sharing my story, because I feel that I should open up a little bit. It's hard, but I feel it's something I should be doing.

So that's my story. I would love to hear your's! ☺

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7 of your thoughts

  1. This is really encouraging, I enjoyed this a lot. I also see that you like Robin Hood? I stated watching it a little while ago, I LOVE it! You can check my blog out at: -Bethany!

    1. I'm so glad it was encouraging for you! Yes, I love Robin Hood - It is my favorite BBC show! I'll totally check out your blog - thank you for following mine. =)
      In Christ,

  2. Thank you so much, Kara, for sharing your testimony! I know it took a lot of courage, but I'm so glad to see you answering another one of God's callings. It really encouraged me, and I am so thankful for the best friend God blessed me with☺. He is good!

    1. Thanks so much Alyssa! Yes, God is sooo good! I am thankful as well for God placing you in my life - You're awesome. ☺

  3. Wonderful testimony, Kara! My dad is also a pastor so I understand where you are coming from. So glad Pinterest lets me meet people like you!

    1. That's cool that your Dad is a pastor as well! Thanks so much for commenting!

  4. Hi there! This article could not be written much better!
    Going through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He continually kept preaching about this. I'll send this article to him.

    Fairly certain he's going to have a good read. I appreciate
    you for sharing!

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