Real Stories.Real Faith {Faith}

8:01 AM

Hola readers!
Please welcome Faith to Saved by Grace, check out her story below, and then be sure to go and visit her blog!
Thank you so much for participating Faith! I'm so glad to have you. ♥

So, just as an introduction, my name is Faith. I'm a college kid who loves God, Star Wars and twenty one pilots. (Just to name a few things.) I blog over at Princess Faith. ( Thanks to Kara Lynn for having me!

Picture credits from Faith

So, my testimony. 

I grew up in a Christian home. I went to church like, 3-4 times a week. I did AWANA and Jesus camp and all that jazz. People always asked me if I was "saved" and I would rattle off the right answer. "I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins." And so people thought I was good. I thought I was good. But there was one night on the way back from bible study that I won't ever forget. I was 8 years old/ (still pretty young, but when I was 8, most of my church friends had already been saved for like, 4 years.) I was with my mom and my brother; they happened to be discussing demons, the book of Revelation, and all these scary topics. I was terrified. I remember looking up into the trees and feeling like demons were watching me. We got home and I broke down crying into my mom's arms. She told me God was with me so I didn't have to be afraid. But I was. She then asked me if I had ever accepted Jesus or put my faith in Him. At that point I wasn't sure because I thought if I had really believed, I wouldn't be so scared. So I shook my head. When she asked me if I wanted to I remember saying yes. We prayed together. I don't remember what we said but I remember when I opened my eyes, the fear was gone.

Sometimes I wish my story ended there. I always wish that was the last encounter I ever had with fear. But it wasn't. Fear actually became my arch rival. It was something I had to fight every day; and honestly, I still have to fight it every day. I wish my story didn't go on to include panic attacks, sleepless nights filled with insomnia, nightmares so bad I hated sleeping, and depression. But God allowed it.

I've been through a ton, so I won't bore you. But I was homeless for a year, was diagnosed with 2 chronic conditions, had to live through my dad's nasty affair with a woman I respected, my parents eventual divorce, as well as coming to terms with my dad's verbal abuse towards me as a kid. And in retrospect, none of those things hurt me as much as my battle with fear and anxiety. 

Fear crippled me and there were nights I thought I would die from it, one way or another. Some days I couldn't get out of bed. Lots of nights I cried myself to sleep, begging God to take it away. And He said "My grace is sufficient for you."

It was during the bad fights with fear where I experienced a lot of spiritual warfare. Some of those things included premonitions, nightmares, impending feelings of doom, seasons of self hate, and depression. A lot of people close to me never even knew all this was happening. But for a year I was slowly falling apart. It was especially hard during the 7 months my best friend was away on a missions trip. 

I'm not sure how to wrap this up because this is a really choppy version because my testimony is huge and I'm not sure which aspect to focus on. But the point of me sharing this is that God has wanted me to be more honest. Even this draft isn't the full truth of my story, but I guess the more we talk about our struggles, the stronger we become. And I wanted to say that I got better. Yes, I still struggle with fear and self hate and depression but its nowhere near like it used to be. in 2015 I actually went like a whole year without a panic attack. 

I don't know at what point everything changed, but God took me from where I was a mess, to where I am now. And now, I'm happy. And I use that word loosely. Happy being, I still mess up and relapse, but I'm okay. I can be sad, but its a kind of sad that knows its going to get better. Im not trapped. And I didn't get here on my own. I got here by Gods grace. I got here by Him taking me by the hand and carrying me when I fell. I got here by His grace and love and compassion. Through my hardest nights I heard Him say "My grace is sufficient." and that hope carried me through. Its enough to carry you too. 

God is good.

And readers, please do not forget that you can be part of this series or you can also read Nameless Writer's wonderful testimony here
Thanks again Faith - I really feel blessed to share real life stories on my blog. 

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4 of your thoughts

  1. faith. oh, faith. this is beautiful, so very very beautiful it almost brought tears to my eyes. thank you for sharing darling<3 you've been through so much and i'm so thankful and grateful that He was there for and with you, taking your mess and transforming it into something beautiful. your story here is powerful, hon. keep sharing it with the world. ♥

  2. Thank you for your testimony. It is an encouragement, long or short form. I shall pray for you and God bless.

  3. Thanks for sharing your powerful testimony Faith! I never know quite where to end my testimony either--usually I just end up saying "And through the grace of God I'm still growing!" And thankfully, that is true.
    Thanks for having Faith on your blog Kara! Hope you have a wonderful week.


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