Hola readers!

As I write this I have the song Shine Like Gold my two favorite bands (Lifehouse and Switchfoot) sung together to raise money for story Harvey victims. I've just finished my Maple coffee I've learned to make for myself every morning, and my face is scrubbed clean of makeup.

I turned nineteen a little over three weeks ago and it's a little hard to comprehend that this is my last year as a teenager. But in the same breath I'm ready to leave my teen years behind. I already think of myself as an adult and working at the park with those kids last summer really allowed me to see my age. I honestly feel old haha.

They're young - under the age of thirteen - and to them I'm an adult, one who doesn't wear make-up when she works, doesn't listen to the latest hits, doesn't cuss or talk about sex out of turn. I wore my hair the same way every day - in my usual ponytail. I was probably a little odd, I played cops and robbers with a four year old boy, chasing him around the park and throwing him in 'prison.' I danced with a hula hoop and admitted that I've never had a boyfriend.

But those kids had another way of changing you. The way the majority of them bonded together, treating each other like siblings, fighting and squabbling but deep down caring for one another. I enjoyed their goodbye hugs more then anything, them waving to me as I pulled out of the parking lot in my dad's 1996 fifteen passenger ford van.

I'm sure I was the odd coworker with that big van that rumbled down the road like it was about to break down, but driving it taught me one thing

how to not care about what others think. I had my fellow male coworkers laugh but it taught me to laugh with them, to suck it up when they looked at me like I was a little weird. I learned that I don't mind being a little bit crazy, a little weird. Because sometimes weird is a good thing.

Working in the chaos of sometimes fifty kids with only me and two others taught me that I can do anything with Christ. One time I fought a migraine on one of the hottest days of the summer and I made it. One time I lost my temper and learned to say I'm sorry to someone who probably didn't deserve it.

But as I was looking at her staring at the table, her eyes filling with tears of resentment, I felt Jesus whisper to my heart: "I love her."

That was enough to get down beside her and say, "look, I'm sorry. It's hectic working here and sometimes I lose my cool. Sometimes I don't do what I should. I'm sorry."

This summer I also began watching Star Wars, because my brothers wanted to, because I wanted to, and we pulled my poor mom into it. I went in feeling sorry that she's had to sit through Doctor Strange, Sherlock BBC, Captain America and so many other "weird TV" but then she went in loving Star Wars more then I do. I'm still laughing. I love how my mama surprises me, how she takes the time to understand us, to listen to my music or try my books because she loves me. She's taught me a little bit about how I want to be for my future children.

But Star Wars definitely has a place on my list of movies I enjoy. I especially loved Han and Cassian, so you can probably guess out of the Star Wars movies which ones I'll want to revisit.

truly beautiful.