I started a wall of thankfulness. It's aqua sticky notes covering my cream colored wall above my bed, handwritten and terribly far from perfect.
One day I was thankful for my health. Another day that I'm healing mentally. Another chocolate kisses. Another stars. Another getting to work on time.
It's the little things.
Sometimes the big things.
And it's made a difference.
I begin to see the fingerprints of a greater work, of the beauty in the little, of the hugs from Someone bigger than myself. Nights are always a little harder for me. I've never had trouble getting out of bed, but for me the real struggle was falling asleep. I spent one whole year in High School struggling with sleeping deeply (or even sleeping at all). I lay in a fit of anxiety, and when asked by the doctor if I struggled with fear I looked him in the eye and lied straight out, "no."
Excuse me while I go laugh.
I was far from fine.
I spent two nights straight with less than three hours of sleep due to panic attacks and worry. I was not alright.


A major piece of my growth has been the little things, and unwinding and each night before I turn off my lamp. I think of one thing that warmed me that day, one thing that I needed...a sticky note on the wall each night has become my wall of thankfulness. It has become a piece of my heart on display, turning from the bad and looking at the good, no matter how little.
I close my eyes and I focus on the beautiful instead of what has been shaking my world. It's easy to get lost in your mind as a writer, dwelling on bad outcomes, worrying about your never ending to-do list or simply afraid of what tomorrow will bring.
Thanksgiving and the holidays are huge reminders of what we have to be thankful for, but I am trying to strive and make it a daily thing.
For me it's been a must, a must at helping me lean towards a better mindset.
It is slowly turning my heart, making me realize what matters in life. It allows me to see beyond myself and my struggles, to the beauty around me.