Hola readers!
As 2016 slowly draws to a close, I realize how really nothing in my life changed this year... or really these past four years come to think of it. I'm still pretty much the same person.
I feel like Jesse on Full House in season two when he realized he needed a change and how his life had pretty much fallen into a slow, boring norm and he doesn't feel fulfilled.
That's me. I've listened to the same music, pretty much read the same books, had the same hobbies and dreams, and dressed the same since Middle School.
While that's not necessarily a bad thing I'm feeling a bit miffed because I'm looking around and seeing so many changes in my friend's lives. Friends are off to college, jobs, boyfriends (or fiances), dates, and mission trips.

So why am I still the same?

I've prayed about it all week-or really this whole year. I'm tired of my social life being on Facebook or my friends living hundreds and hundreds of miles from me. I want a change. I want me to change.
All my dreams have continued to be consistent the past few years and I wonder...am I selling God short? While these may be wonderful dreams to have and ones that will realistically one day come true-am I supposed to have new dreams this season of me life? New pursuits? New hobbies? New goals?
Why have I always been stuck with the same thing and when I do find something new, drop it so quickly even if I do feel a nudge from God? And then I got wondering even farther-why have I never considered never going on a missions trip overseas in another country far from home? Why?
My answer has always been: Because God told me not to.

But is that too easy of an answer? Is that just a quick-fix for a HUGE fear of mine? If He said, "go", would I still say, "no"? I wanted to convince myself that it's not the case and I proceeded to write out a long list of why I shouldn't go overseas. The fact that it's long says it all. I went from "I might die," to "I'd have to fly," to "it's over the ocean," to pretty much everything bad that could happen.
And I realized that God's "go" has probably been my continual "no". What opportunities have I missed out on because I came up with a million reasons why I shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't. Why do I continually stay in this sameness? It's boring and no longer is 'safe' fun. Predictable isn't always best.
That doesn't mean I have to drop writing, start wearing lots of make up or suddenly get a tattoo. It doesn't mean I need to suddenly fly to Japan or go to college in another country.
But my new realization is I need to start reassessing my dreams because sometimes what I feel God wanting me to do may be something that will happen years for now and the idea is just preparing me. It doesn't mean I can't have dreams and passions and ideas and goals for this moment-the here and now.
Maybe while those dreams and passions are on hold, God wants me to find new ones. Ones that are completely out of the box for me. God isn't going to put lots of my dreams on hold and simply leave me hanging. He's going to give me something to do in the meantime.
And I haven't taken that to heart.
I know I want to do ministry with teen girls, to foster and adopt, etc, etc, but all those ideas, no matter how God-inspired they feel, aren't meant for now.
They're meant for later. In the years to come.
My 2016 has been full of waiting for the dreams and passions to be fulfilled that I have now. But I also realize that this year I've cut God short.
I've taken comfortable dreams-ones I've come to see as part of the familiar for as long as I can remember. I think it's time to stop looking at how impossible new ideas are and see how big and powerful my Heavenly Father is.
He knows no boundaries.