Hola readers!

It's OK not to fit in. It's OK not to have it all together. It's OK to be different.

As some of you may know, I've written a novel (The Broken Prince), and I'm in the works of trying to get it publishing. This has been going on since August and it's been a long process that only goes on. I've talked to agents, publishing houses, writer friends and fellow authors, and many, many more people. I've prayed and cried and grumbled and wrote and erased and erased some more.

It's not been easy.

I've written a book that is for the broken, that I pray will reach struggling young adults - the ones that feel worthless and out of place and judged and condemned. But the process of reaching a novel that accomplishes that is so much more complicated and hard and tear-stained.
This utterly long process has been teaching me many things. It's taught me that this is life, that people will reject you, not believe in you, encourage you on paths that you don't feel right about...but God never changes.
Many, many, people have tried to sway me to self-publishing. I've felt family member's silently disagreeing with my choice to drop out of college to pursue a writing career.
It's crazy, I know.
But it's what I'm called to do.
And it's life.

I've learned that you rarely ever see anything but the feet in front of you. "What will you do if so-and-so reject you?" people often ask.
"I don't know."
There's no easy answer following rejection or a quiet let down. But I've come to accept rejection and move on. You have to. You can't cling to the idea that you're not good enough. It's one person's opinion in a million.
Life is about trusting in the One who created you. It's not about seeing ahead, about knowing what is to come. People rarely can see more then a few feet in front of themselves.
And it's life.

Life goes on no matter what may come.

I've learned that I don't have all the answers. People have told me that my book needs work. They've pointed out flaws and mistakes and gently told me that my baby isn't perfect - this novel that I wrote in five months and edited in two, the novel that excites me and lives in me and is a part of me, isn't good enough.
And it's life.

It's not about being perfect. It's about being human. I don't have all the answers. I never will. I've always been the out-of-place type of girl, the one standing alone in a crowd. And that's OK. I'm learning to move on, that nothing is perfect, that nothing goes as planned, that I'm beyond perfection...that I still have a lot of growing to do. I'm learning to ask for help.

"YA fantasy doesn't sell."
"Your book is too short for fantasy."
"I'm sorry, but your novel does not fit our vision."
"You need lots more edits."

I'm unique. I dream of bridging the gap between secular and the Christian genre. I'm different.
And it's life.
I don't see anything wrong with anyone's vision - some people want Christian fiction, some secular...not everyone wants a book that fits BOTH genres.
But it's life.
It's OK.
We all have a different road to walk.
It's OK.

Life goes on. I refuse to be afraid, to try to see beyond what little God has allowed me to see. I want to enjoy this process, this journey God has sent me on. I'm nineteen and God has given me dreams and visions and I know what I want. That doesn't mean it'll happen today...or tomorrow...or next year...I just know I've had these dreams planted in me for a reason. I'm willing to accept that today nothing more will happen then dancing the conga with my brother, typing this blog post, and maybe, just maybe, doing a vlog (maybe). I'm willing to submit to the idea that no, my book might never be good enough...but isn't the point of the Christian walk, submitting to the idea of not being good enough? Isn't it accepting the idea that, yes, we've flunked and failed, but Christ is the One who takes us anyway?

I'm OK.

Because this is life and I know Who's behind it.