Hola readers!

Sometimes I doubt God.
Sometimes I don't know if I can trust Him.
Sometimes I'm afraid to trust a God when there is so much evil and darkness in the world. Sometimes I wonder how I can trust a God when hell exists, when innocent people get murdered. I want to know why babies die, why cancer is real, why suicide is even possible, leaving us people on earth to mourn the loss.

Here's a simple message that I have learned, a rule of Christianity I am about to break:

It's okay to doubt God. 

I'm not saying it's okay not to believe. I'm not saying you shouldn't trust.
But I'm saying that it's okay to doubt.
To doubt is human.
We all doubt. It's a fact. It happens.
To say we fail to doubt is hypocritical, a lie, and we are only setting ourselves up for fraud -- hurting ourselves when we fail to allow ourselves human feelings.
And to feel should never bring shame.
I find it beautiful when people admit, "I don't know." In a world that falsely pretends to have all the answers, it is a brave soul who admits otherwise.
We doubt God because we care. We want to know why...if we failed to ask why, we would fail to feel.  If we failed to question we would fail to care.
It is when we allow ourselves to ask the gritty questions, that we are showing that we actually care about God and our world.



And sometimes we won't get all the answers our soul craves. But that is not the point of allowing ourselves to doubt God.
I have learned to doubt God and question Him. I have learned that it's okay to angrily ask God why bad things happen. I have learned it's okay to be PO at God.
Because I'm human.
I cannot possibly understand death and darkness.
Why should I feel anything but questions? It is only human to wonder at the hell on earth I see.


So I have given myself permission to question God. I have given myself to rant at Him and ask the hard stuff.

 He wants me to talk to Him as a friend...and don't we question those we love when we don't understand something they're doing? If a friend is doing something or allowing something you cannot possibly see purpose in, won't you ask?
It is the true seekers who ask God, "why?"
It is the little children who constantly ask adults, "why?" that learn the most.
God says to be like children...so I'm going to allow myself to question.


Maybe you disagree.
A lot of people probably will.
Aetheists call Christians who doubt, people who are leaving their faith.
I say I'm growing in it.

No one has all the answers.

It's the true bravehearts who admit it.
It's the true bravehearts who act on it.
And it's those people who will learn the most and gain the most answers.