Hola readers!
There's fog outside my window. I have a cup of coffee beside me that's half empty. Joshua Luke Smith plays on my Spotify and I'm wearing my normal day-off-work clothes of t-shirt and basketball shorts and no makeup.
And I'm thinking about how I'm twenty (nearly twenty one) and still live at home as everyone tends to point out.
I had a conversation with someone recently who told me she could never live at home because her and her family disagree so much. I understand how she feels about not agreeing with her parents as an adult. There was a season where me and dad argued about anything and everything. We disagree on a lot sometimes...like my choice of TV and music and books and lifestyle. And I don't always agree with his.
But we love each other -- a lot. I love my dad and I know without a doubt that he loves me.
I think we have reached a place where we chose to agree to disagree.
And I have chose to live at home -- as of now.
I'm blessed.
Not everyone can agree to disagree with their parents.
Not everyone has parents to come home to.
And even if they do, not everyone has parents together or clean from drugs or who actually care whether they come home at all.
I get that.
Everyone's choice is different, everyone's reasons vast...

But I have chosen to still live at home as an adult.

At first I didn't like to tell people. People judge me for it, tell me they never could make that choice. Some act like I'm not adulting because of that choice.
But for me I'm making that choice because I am making an adult choice.
I am working part time.
I am writing without getting paid.
I have two jobs: One pays and the other doesn't.
I don't make enough to live alone and even if I did, I would have none left over to save. It is unrealistic to even entertain living alone. It's unrealistic to try. I pay for my car, my gas, my needs. I buy things for my mom when she needs something and I'm out. I take my siblings to the pool (and pay for it). I'm not saying this to sound like I'm a hero or good or better.
I'm just saying this is my life.
I have five younger siblings. The youngest is ten. I love them. I enjoy helping them and watching them grow.
And in the process I save. I'm able to go more places and do more because I live at home. I bought a car and it's paid off. It's a 2013 and I'm proud of it.
I'm proud I live at home.
I'm proud of my job.
I'm proud of my life.
A lot of people will judge you for the choices. A lot of people will tell you, you're wrong. I think for me, being an adult has been making choices people don't understand and don't like, and learning not to care.
Being an adult for me has been dropping out of college and following my dreams and second guessing myself every step of the way. Being an adult for me has meant living at home. It means making a choice to still pay for my own things without having to pay rent or a house payment. Being an adult means stepping out...but sometimes it means doing the opposite of the advice of everyone else.
I chose to live at home for a lot of reasons.
It wasn't an easy conclusion.
I am an independent soul.
By nature I would rather not having to answer to anyone, to live alone.
But life isn't going that way.
And that's okay.
I think the world has adulting all wrong.
It's not a stereotype. It's not a certain step that makes you an adult.
Sometimes it's going against the norm. It's doing what's best for you.
Making decisions like this is being an adult. It's me saying, "I'm doing this because I should and not always because I want to." It's teaching me to agree to disagree, to get along with more than myself, to be flexible, to work around other's schedules. It's being a role model to my youngest siblings, to carpooling...it's basically one of the best things honestly.
And it's basically a choice. It's a choice to do these things, to feel this way, to live this way. It's possible because I let it be. Don't say you don't have a choice, that you could not possibly do a certain thing.
We all have choices.

And I love my life. I wouldn't change it for the world.